As several thousand members of the Whisker and Sunbonnet clubs from all parts of the county and residents of Cairo, generally, enjoyed the brutal spectacle, thirteen offenders of the laws of Whisk-erdom, including Judges Lloyd Kelly and Paul Kirk, were arraigned before the kan- garoo court of Whiskerdom, in the park of Cairo, Wednesday evening, June 1. A novel parade, through main street and featuring Cairo members of the Whisker and Sunbonnet clubs and a miniature covered wagon preceded the session.
On Saturday evening, June 4th, the Whiskerites who came under the wrath of the kangaroo court on Wednesday evening of last week and were fined for their sins of omission and commission, paid their fines in the manner prescribed by the high-mogul officials of kangaroodom much to the amusement of a large and attentive crowd of visitors to our village on that evening to see the "phun." The first offender to pay the penalty was H. P. Bellows, who winged through a wing dance on a truck platform, which shivered and shook with the impacts of his light, fantastic toes thereon, in a manner that brought down the spectators, and almost himself, too, to the delight of the hilarious bunch. Oscar Sundermeier placed as "The Dummy," steered traffic like a veteran, except that the street was roped off and there was not much traffic to steer.
Ray Ingalls was next on the program, and flirted with death by riding through the street a white mule, which did not like to be ridden, and probably would not have been ridden had not the owner of the animal held it by the bridle bit and talked to it in a language it understood. Ray says he has not been able to sit down in comfort since, owing to bruises.
J. W. Mahaffey, Record editor, who was set back a year's subscription to be sent to Police Judge Kelly, for the awful decision of "guilty" tossed our way, slipped to the office and placed his honor's name on the subscription
book, not forgetting to charge the Judge up with $2.00.
John Cady, evidently the toughest of the wild-and-wooly outlaws, as he had to be dragged into court bound with a mammoth rope cable drawn by a half dozen stalwart officers of the "bring-'em-in-dead-or-alive" type, shoved at adverse angles a life size baby buggy down the street, riding (sometimes) in which was the meek-eyed and bonny infant, E. F. Terry. John so manipulated the carriage that the baby was thrown out in scandiculous shapes at many points as a faithful and loving mother, (so placarded,) should. And then the crowd went "whoopee."
Hal Shouse, dressed becomingly as a heart-breaking female, flirted with and cooed to the master of ceremonies "Monk" Veeder, and gave arch glances and bewitching smiles until "she" became the envy of the few novices in the "crush" pastime, and also the many highly accomplished and experienced experts, at this fascinating and world-wide art.
G. C. Raven, so ordered, got around several pounds of weiners and a gallon or so of sauerkraut, with trimmings, and when asked if it didn't give him pains amidship, asked "who ever heard of sauerkraut, weiners and beer ever giving a Dutchman even a twinge akin to pain?"
The supreme judges of the klan were caught flirting with the "whiskered lady" friend of the master of ceremonies, promptly convicted and sentenced to feed each other a quart of ice cream with spoons, while blindfolded. The judges, setting down the ice cream pails to rest, C. H. Russell quickly devoured what remained of it and was fined $1 for the offense. We are informed that this fine was paid.
THE WHISKER CLUB
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